Glad to have a baby Not SSTN

I was asked by a wonderful girl Jav about Nanie's sleeping habits. Well actually she posted a poll about it and I answered :) Anyway, I proudly proclaimed that my daughter went to bed at 7-7:30pm, we took a bath, brushed teeth, lotioned up, fed and put to bed. Then the question was asked. Does your little one get up for a night time feeding?

I thought it was funny that I stopped myself from answering this question at first. I think because my daughter is 11 months and STILL gets up for a bottle. Not once, but twice a night usually. My thought was, Holy crap they are gonna thing Nanie is a brat and I'm a total push over. But then I realized what great women I'm friends with and answered truthfully. All day I could not stop thinking about it.

The more I thought about it, the more I was happy that Nanie still got up for feeding. Let me explain. Those night time feeding are MY time with her. Where she is not pre-occupied with exploring or DH doesn't come and interrupt our bonding. It's just Me and Nanie. I pick her up get in my glider give her the bottle. Hold it with my chin while I rub her belly lightly. Then her legs, then her arms. All the while telling myself I'm warming her up. But really I just want her to know I'm there. I'm with her. I enjoy this time soo much.

The other night we went out to see crazy for you, a play at the our local amphitheater. We stayed out until 11:00 (One of Nanie's wake up times) I came home looking forward to feeding and rocking her to sleep. Nanie had other ideas. She slept until 4:30am and I got up excited to finally get to see my baby. It was then that I realized. My baby will not get up 2 times a night forever.

I'm not ready for her to SSTN. When Nanie finally decided to SSTN, it will be bitter sweet. It will come some day I know but for now I'm enjoying my time with her.


Please note: Nanie has more then one set of pajamas. This was taken the same day as the wordless Wed. post last week :)

Poor baby...you mean poor MOMMY

As most of you know I'm part of a great message board of Mom's. We've been together for about 2 years now and we have gone through; trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, having our babies and some of us on to #2. Anyway, as I read through a lot of posts about their kids, I realize that our kids are so resilient. It is us, the mommies, that are the ones that are traumatized.

For instance, the night before Nanie went into daycare, Keith and I cried our eyes out. We considered having me quit the family business and stay home with our wee precious one. We agonized over it ALL NIGHT! The day came when I took her to daycare and Nanie was fine. I was biting my Nails and struggling not to call the daycare lady more then 8 times in an hour. Nanie...she was fine. She slept like a champ ate like a champ and didn't notice mommy was gone Insert sad face

When Nanie is sick, my poor little girl is fussy and yes she has a runny nose and is tired. IN reality she sleeps and when she gets up, we sooth her and put her back down 8 times. I am the ones that wakes up the next morning a 6am because Nanie is all better now and is ready for her day. Who cares that Mommy only had 3hrs of sleep.

So I've decided. No more poor Nanie, POOR MOMMY :)

There, is said it, woe is me!!! In reality, Nanie is worth it all. I love having my little girl. I'm so glad that she is strong and resilient. The Lord makes them that way because He knows all the mistakes us parents make. So thank the Lord for Nanie and thank the Lord for memory loss.

Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with the fact that when I picked Nanie up from under the coffee table I hit her head on the table top...just sayin'

and for your viewing pleasure!! Cheeeeeese

Jumping on the ban wagon

Things I don't want to forget Thursday

1) The way when you wake up you grab onto your crib and shake yourself like a monkey LOL

2) the way you smile shyly when both Keith and I play with you

3) the way you reach for me when all I'm doing is standing there.

4) The way you lay in my arms at night with one arm hanging out to make sure I know you are awake, until i give you the bottle LOL.

5) The way your smile lights up a room. It brings me so much joy.

Wordless Wednsday

I hate sinuses!

I have a head cold. I'm not sure if It's allergies or a cold. I can't breath, my eyes feel like they are going to swell shut and my nose is raw from all the tissue. Blah.

I don't want to take anything because I'm not sure if it's allergy or cold?? Aaaand I'm also trying to get pregnant and I'm in the 2ww (two week wait) to see if I'm KU.

My neti pot is not working :( My nose is to plugged to let the water go through. Booo.

There is no point to this blog, just wanted to complain thanks for listening.

I failed the 30 day blog challange

But like everything in my life. If I fail, I just get right back on that horse. So here I go.

I have a good excuse for not blogging. I got my feeling hurt and I was to angry and sad to post. Let me explain.

You remember on Friday when I posted about going to my Mom's house. Anyway, We went. It was a great time. We left at about 7:15pm and went on with our bedtime routines.

On to Saturday morning. At about 9:15. We get into the van and I realize I left my cell phone in there. I checked for missed messages and see I missed a call from my Tia Grace.

Tia Grace: "hello mija, how are you? I was calling to see what time your mom wakes up because I don't want to wake her"
Me: being oblivious "she's great!! I'm sure she's up already but last night she was her normal self."
I hear a silence on the other end
Me: "hello?? are you there?
Tia Grace: "I'm here...I just wanted to check to see how she was after last night...you know after they called the ambulance for her.
Me: WHAT??
Silence
Tia Grace: Ummm, Yeah, Your Tia Liz called and told me they had to call the ambulance last night for your mom because she couldn't breath.
ME: pissed as all hell "I was unaware of that, Let me call my mom and see what's going on."

So I call my mom's house...no answer. So I call her cell..no answer (I'm getting a little worried here) So then I call my little sister's cell. She is asleep and i wake her up. When I asked her why she didn't call me to tell me they called the ambulance on my mom she says, WHAT. What are you talking about? (relief, floods over me) I explain my Tia Graces phone call. Then I ask her to get up out of bed and find my Mom. I want to talk to her.

So Melinda gets up out of bed and says "Mom isn't here" QUE PANIC! I tell her I'm gonna hang up with her and call my Dad's cell.

My Dad answers in a cheery voice. I cut straight to it.
Me: How come no one told me the ambulance was called on my mom?
Dad: Oh, well, you know your mom. She was embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know. She didn't even want me to call the ambulance.
Me: What happened?
Dad: Oh, we all just sitting there and you mom couldn't catch her breath. It was no big deal.
Me: No big deal you called 911 on my mom??
Dad: No, it's no big deal she fine today. She's even getting her toes done with your sister Monica.
Silence
Dad: You know we were talking about it last night saying we were glad you and Melinda were not there. You guys would have panicked. Que my feeling being hurt
Me: I'm really upset I had to find out from Tia Grace that 911 was called for my mom
Dad: Oh mija, It wasn't a big deal. You know what the next time your mom cuts her finger I'll call you. Que tears
Me: Pa, I am so hurt with you right now. I'm going to go.

As I'm crying because no one wants to tell me what really happened. I text my mom "I am so hurt" I can't stop the tears. I call my Tia Grace with what I found out. I call Melinda who is in tears. I guess while I was on the phone with my Tia Grace she called and reamed out my Dad.

So DH tells me to go get my Pedicure done. I go and try and relax. As I'm at the salon my phone rings. It's my sister Monica.
Monica: "are you ok"
Me: "no, but I don't wanna talk about it now. I'll call you later"

5 Min later, my phone rings again...it's my mom
Mom: Hi mija, are you ok??
Me: No mom I'm not. I'll talk to you later about it
Mom: ok bye

5 min later my phone rings again...it's Melinda
In tears
Melinda: shell are you ok??
Me: No, but i'm getting my toes done and I don't want to discuss it right now. I'll call you later.

I did not return a single call. I get home from my pedicure to find my Dad in my garage with my husband. He says he came over to apologize and knows he Effed up.

I get the whole story. Basically while my mom was doing dishes she turns around grabbing her chest. My Dad and sister Monica freak and go to her. My dad says to call 911, Monica picks up the phone (all the while not realizing the phone had been ringing and my Tia Liz was on the line) My Tia Liz hears panic and someone screaming "Mom, mom what's wrong with my mom?"

Anyway, My dad says my mom finally starts to talk very labored saying "NOOO, don't call 911, I"m fine." all the while clutching her chest. So they call 911, they come out. By the time they get there my mom is breathing fine. They check her vitals and all was well. Then they went on to discuss how nice it was I wasn't there. nice

I'm still hurt, I'm mad. But I'm trying to get over it. Everyone has apologized. I'm just hurt. I trying to not re-bring it up. But I did ask when her Dr. apt was. Sept 3rd.

So anyway, I couldn't post yesterday or I would have cried through the entire post. Therefore, you get the story today.

Friday at my Mom's

So it seems every Friday DH and I go to my Mom's house. We travel all of 12 minutes on Oceanside Blvd. up and over a hill to see my Parents. If you didn't know already, my one sister (I have 3) moved back in with my Parents, my youngest sister still lives there and my oldest sister lives over the hill from her . So basically every Friday we get together with my entire immediate family. I really enjoy this. It's a time of reminiscing, making fun of each other and watching our children play.

I'm just not as excited to go anymore.

I guess it's just not as relaxing as it use to be. Is that sad?? You know what I just realized. BEFORE my sister moved in I felt that my Mom's house was MY house. I was the one always there (we visit a lot) I was the one who talked to my mom daily, It was ME who she would not call because she knew I'd be there the next day anyway. But not anymore. Now that My sister is living with my Parents I feel like I'm the "guest".

I really need to make an effort to make myself at home again. It's no one's fault but my own as to why I feel this way. I guess I just had to get this out there. So on this Lovely Friday I'm gonna go to My mom's take off my shoes get in her wine cabinet and poor myself a water cup full of wine and enjoy myself at MY other house :)

Happy Friday.

Thankful Thursday

5 things I'm thankful for

1) I'm thankful for Jesus. For dieing on that cross for me because he dentally knows I am NOT perfect.

2) I'm Thankful for Keith!! He is an amazing husband. He understand me and even when he doesn't he tires so very hard. His goal is to make me happy. What more could you ask from a husband.

3) Nanie, It took 1 year (8 cycles) to concieve my darling daughter!! She has been such a blessing. She fills my life with more joy then I ever thought possible.


4) I'm thankful for my family. I have a HUGE family. I love that each one of them support me and what I do. No matter what I know I can count on each one of them. I love them so much.


5) My friends, both e-friends and IRL. My IRL friends are so wonderful. Each one of them make me feel like I'm the "cool" kid that everyone want to hang with LOL. And I love how no matter what they support me. my e-friends are so great!! Seriously I've never felt so "apart" of something that wasn't my family. You ladies give me support, laughter and love. I can't thank you enough

Wordless Wednsday

When do you stop working on yourself?

I feel like I am constantly working on myself. I'm not talking about physically, I'm talking about socially. I mean I know to an extent I am who I am but I also feel If who I am is hurting someone, why not try and work on it?

I feel like in my marriage I am constantly trying to work on making Keith happy. I don't want to sound like a door mat or anything because If you know me, you know I'm a strong women. I am referring to taking the trash liner out of the trash can rather then throwing one more thing on top. Or my husbands favorite, turning on the sound machine BEFORE I lye in bed :) On a more serious note, I'm really trying to work on NOT bringing up sensitive topics when he's had a rough day. I'm pretty bad at that.

I guess I am a people pleaser. Like take for example my sister. She is having some issues with her pregnancy and my moronic self is asking her a million questions that she doesn't know the answer to. I can see it in her face, the Michelle stop asking these questions because if I'm not worried so you should be worried or Why are you making me think of all these things that could be wrong and stressing me out. So in response...I just stopped asking questions.

I guess I'm wondering if I'm the only almost 30 year old still trying to work on themselves?? Should I just be as I am?? I dunno sometimes I feel like just saying eff it and be oblivious. So tell me Do you try and work on yourself??

Jam packed super fun weekend!!

Friday- Picked up my nephew from daycare and headed to my mom's house for a GTG with my Aubualita and sisters. I had a lot of fun with my sisters and nephews and nieces.

Saturday- Keith, Nanie and I walked a 5K for the Prader-Willi Foundation. WE had a blast! It was at a park so Nanie got to play at a park for the 1st time. She loved the swing!

Sunday - We had a Family GTG with the IL's. It was so great. We see family quite a bit but I think it's been a LONG time since it's been ONLY immediate family. To be honest I'm more of a more the marrier type person but this time it was so nice to be able to chat with everyone and not feel like you could only spend a few minutes with one person.

All and all we had a great weekend!!

day 3

Nanie (my 11 month old daughter) just got her 1st birthday present. It's a shutterfly photobook of her 1st year from her Aunti Nikki (My SIL). The book is sooo cute. It has so many great pictures.

She even came to my work and stole some pictures off of my work computer.
-funny story- She stole a pic. from my computer of me holding my nephew when he was a baby and put it in Nanie's photo book thinking it was Nanie LOL. I guess she didn't notice the blanket was blue :)

Anyway, It was her 1st present for her 1st birthday. We took pictures of her trying to open it. (sorry I forgot my camera today otherwise I would share) It was so thoughtful of her to do. It must have taken a long time and they even added little saying in the book that they say to her.

So her is my only problem. Please let me know if you think I'm being petty here because this really bothers me. There are no pictures of MY FAMILY (as in MY mom, dad, sisters) There is a page of when she was first born and on that page there is a picture of each one of us holding Nanie. But none of My family with her.

It's not like she didn't have access to pictures. There are plenty on my work computer that she could have used. But there is NOT ONE picture of Nanie and someone of MY family. I dunno. Maybe I'm reading to much into it. I just keep thinking when Nanie gets older she is going to see this book and think. Where is my other Grandma and Grandpa? Or how come there are no pictures of my Tia's and me. I guess if most of the pictures were just of Nanie I wouldn't care. But there are a TON of her with Grandma (IL) and Nikki. Not to mention they added little saying like "sweat pea" and "grandma's girl" of which my MIL says all the time.

I guess I feel it is not a reflection of her 1st year. It's a reflection of THEIR first year with her. I guess that was their gift to her Huh?

Alas, maybe I'm being a biotch. But Whatever

Day 2 of the blogger challange!

Today's topic is gonna be about Venting.

We all vent. To whom we vent to should be picked very carefully. In a perfect world the person who you vent about should never know the person you are venting to. right... RRIIIGGHHT. Well that's not always possible. And hey, lets just face it sometime your in the moment and ya gotta let it out.

Soooo, if ya don't know where this is going I'm thinking you haven't had your cup of coffee. I think...and let me just say I think, one of my lovely people whom I vent TO has vented to someone else, whom just called my MIL!!! Let me just say that my MIL is probably one of the most classiest people I know.

I walked in on her in the office on the phone and I heard her say, "well, working with family is hard and sometimes you just have to vent. I think we're past that or at least I hope we are" Then she saw me and I'm pretty sure the subject changed. She was also sure to let the telephone caller know that I was back in the office.

Anyway, it was a bit awkward when she got off the phone. She told me who she was talking to and discussed "around" what they were saying. But I knew. I'm just so glad we ARE past that. I mean working with your MIL can be hard. Working with ANYONE day and day is hard so can you imagine the extra difficultly with the family dynamic?? Anyway, I'm sure she is hurt. I'm sure she knows we are fine. And tomorrow things will go on as they always are, without a hitch.

FYI: I do not blame my lovely friend who needed to vent. She was going through a lot and needed to vent to her friend. And her friend is just about the bluntest person I've ever met and really means well. She's just a foot in mouth type of person. You know the type who talks, and talks and talks without thinking. :) I'm totally not talking shit here, she's admitted it.

But yeah, today was a bit awkward.

Starting off right

So I"m gonna start with a bang. Starting with a blog challenge in hopes to get me going. My good friend Sara at http://fallingforbaby.blogspot.com started this. If you haven't read her blog before you should really start. She is a wonderful mom and friend.

As my 1st post I'm gonna talk about Jealousy. I admit...I'm a jealous person. It does make me twitch when things are a little unfair. When my daughter throws her hands up for someone to hold her my heart hurts a little because she doesn't want to stay with me. When my sisters are chatting and laughing I get up to see what they are talking about because I wanna be apart of that too. When Keith is texting someone for hours I think, I wanna have someone I can text endlessly with. But I'm pretty good at hiding it. I think it's unreasonable to be jealous. No matter what happens in life you have a choice. Your choice is how you are going to react to something. You can get angry, cry, or smile and laugh. YOUR reaction to something makes all the difference in the world. So as I sit here and lift my imaginary glass of wine I'm gonna toast to my reactions. Here is to hoping I react the right way :)

Introduction

I all, I'm Michelle but my friends call me Shell. I'm a 29yr old Mom of 1. I'm married to my wonderful husband of almost 6 years. I enjoy writing whats on my mind but then go back and edit what I wrote as not to offend anyone. ;) I'm working on that.

My daughter is 11 months old and I'm lovin' being a mommy!! I'm hoping this blog will help update my friends and family about my life as well as become an outlet where I can get things out.